Monthly Archives: March 2013

The New Modesty Makeover | RELEVANT Magazine


The New Modesty Makeover | RELEVANT Magazine.

I love this article!

The author is right in saying modesty is a huge and complex topic.  Here are some of my thoughts as a married, older women who has been in ministry for awhile :  )

We pastor an urban church.  Someone once told us we had a “metropolitan church” which was really nice but the truth is we are reaching the poor, the forgotten, the fragile, the lost.   I don’t care how women are dressed when they come to church! Obviously, I hope they are dressed.  And sometimes I wonder if a dress could get any shorter or tighter. But if we reach the heart and teach them they are loved, valued and accepted for who they are, the outward becomes a reflection of the inward.

We use to work with someone who felt women wearing sleeveless outfits was immodest.  I know, right? I dress to please my husband. A little paint, some controlling undergarments, a nice outfit, he’s happy, I’m happy. If I am at a church function having fun in the sun I would wear a t-shirt or sarong over my one piece bathing suit : ) But if I am just with my husband vacationing, I’d wear my sexy one piece bathing suit.  (Sadly after four children, no more bikinis for me.) And I would not have any FB pics posted. Hello.

Then for our homeschooling years, we had the blue jean jumpers.  Which I never had. But I am not going to get started on that.

I also think this conversation needs to include men dressing immodestly.  Especially men in the ministry.

Really, we need grace all the way around.  This will be a topic I’d like to come back too.

Gonna be ruminating on this for a while.

Ok I’m done.





My second son will be moving back to nola when he graduates from Bible College in Springfield, MO.  This kind of surprises me.  My oldest and his wife live in nola and my third is in college in nola and he and the youngest still live at home.  They all like spending time with us.  You’d think after 18 years of pretty much always being home and with me (especially!) 24/7, they’d fly far, far away!

In raising them, we knew that we were the parents, and we set boundaries, expectations,  rules, and were consistent (most of the time) in disciplining.  We all worked hard but we played hard.  We did not try to make them like us, but we apologized if we got something wrong and were quick to restore relationship.

24 years later, our adult children are also our friends and co-workers, making possible a God-called dream to plant a church in the urban center of a great city.  I can’t say enough how blessed I am : )



Dear young lady at Wal-Mart with the Victoria Secret white sweatpants.  I am not sure if before leaving your house, you actually took a minute to evaluate your outfit.  I asked my son if he happened to see you and thankfully he did not.  I am not sure I would have liked him noticing your black, distinct underwear.  When I mentioned them, he graciously said maybe you did so on purpose because you might be single and desperate.


Raising sons is not easy, raising sons to respect women and value them and not look at them as sex objects is getting harder because so many young women are buying into the lie that their worth is tied into them being deemed “sexy.”

I am training my sons that the women that catch their eye have His beauty inside and out, that “sexy” is between a husband and wife, and that one of the greatest gifts God gave man and woman should be unwrapped on the wedding night.




ImageThis is my challenge, to encourage others.  This is probably a good thing for a pastor to do (smile).  One of our mentors, a pastor in his 70’s, said that that is probably the #1 need for people today, to be encouraged.  I might just suck at this a little.  Cause I get wrapped up in to-do lists and thinking ahead to the next thing that I don’t focus on those in front of me.  This I need to do. Now. I want it to be a habit, like breathing. To see the exceptional that is in everyone and letting them know, that I see.  To encourage means to “To inspire with hope, courage, or confidence.” I know I need more hope, courage and confidence. I think I read somewhere that I will reap what I sow (wink).

Thanks Melanie @ for the button!


just say ok, ok?


My guy is a dreamer.  In a big way.  This has not always been easy.  Saw this today by @LysaTerKeurst, “better reactions will lead to better relationships.”  I wish I could tell my 25 year-old self to first say ok to every idea my husband told me.  Yes some were fear inducing, as in “let’s move to New Orleans with three small children and no income, to follow the call of God.” Saying ok, is an exercise in faith.  Does it always pan out? Not always.  Does my husband value me and my opinion? Of course.  I trust my husband, but I trust my God more. I used to be so quick to say all the “buts” and “what ifs” and allow fear to take hold.  Now, I take a deep breath, say ok, and wait and see Him working in me, in us and in our family.  So try it, just say ok, ok?